My energy has been feeling a bit off. I blame it on aging. Honestly can’t pinpoint it.
One of the squares on my 2024 bingo card is to try new energy healing methods. I started looking up some places online closer to my house. I tried ‘dry needling’ a couple years ago, but it was out by the 275 loop and honestly, I live near the city to avoid the trek to needs. Certainly there should be some options downtown.
I texted my friend Rebecca, who is the queen of healing energies and woo woo stuff, and she recommended Attune for reiki. I made an hour appointment not knowing what to expect. Wanted to blog what I experienced, for my memory and for anyone else curious about it.
Upon arrival we talked for a bit about what was going on with me and what reiki was all about. The description of reiki seemed vague and I felt regret for not googling more about it prior to coming. Both of my sisters are certified in reiki, so not sure why I didn’t know more. It was explained that energy is infinite and we have access to it always. We have a soul similar to a diamond within us and this energy method helps to reveal it and dust off the dirt that may have covered it from years of living and ignoring ourselves. That was my interpretation of what was probably more eloquently described.
I liked the visual. I took my boots off and laid on my back on the table. She turned up the music a bit and blocked the light from all the windows. I was asked to breathe in deeply and picture the pure light coming in through my nose, down through my lungs and into my belly. Then breathe out with a sigh. I did this several times until instructed to allow my breath to return back to the normal rhythm.
I like meditation, but was struggling with picturing the light. I just kept repeating the mantra verbally to myself as I continued to breathe.
She softly placed her hands at the top of my head and I immediately wanted to cry. I held back the tears not understanding where they were coming from and wondering what she was doing to me. After a bit, she moved her fingertips and rested them gently at the sides of my face and tears escaped silently from my eyes into my ears. I wondered if this was normal and then heard “release” in my head.
It was interesting and reminded me of my visit with the sun last year. Except this time I am perfectly aware, conscious, sober minded, having this bodily experience and conversations with myself inside my head. When she placed her hands under my chin I literally started to not be able to breathe. I logically told myself she was not even really touching me and I wanted to ask her what in the world was she doing to me. Witchcraft came to mind. It was scary. My throat made outward uncontrollable noises. Then I had a vision with my sisters and the voice told me to “stop hiding and to speak”. The word speak, speak, speak kept repeating until the release came from my throat.
I felt it was telling me that I do not say enough about what I know and I needed to be more vocal. That I wanted to remain anonymous and humble but the voice did not want me to be.
I started talking to God and thanking Him for being with me here, knowing He had something to do with these messages. He then clearly said, I do not like that title/name and I said it was what I needed to call Him to communicate. He then showed me an open universe and said We are all One. I can’t make this stuff up.
As she moved to my legs, I felt heat from one of her fingers only. It was a clear heat in one spot. I didn’t feel the heat previously when she touched me. I mentally thanked her for healing me and she answered in ‘the voice’ inside my head and said, I am not healing you, you are healing yourself.
My stomach kept rumbling and growling and I wished I would’ve eaten as she moved down my legs. I was given a message that I belonged in the sky and no longer on Earth. I was confused and said I loved the earth and the waterfalls and hiking, and it said everything has a cycle and you need to move to the next phase. I then placed myself mentally on top of the rock I climbed in Utah where I perched on my solo road trip in 2021 and it felt right. Lately I have been fascinated more with clouds and sky but I really don’t know what any of this means.
I finally understood why my little sister doesn’t want to seek counseling for her mental health but alternatively chooses these type of sessions. I now understand how you can heal without words.
I addressed anger which I did not realize I was housing inside myself. The voice told me it was not mine and to let it go. It was not mine to be angry about. Kept saying it was not mine to hold.
At one point I was looking down at Earth from outer space seeing her colors. Another point I was seeing a wheel going around and around. I literally had chills in my chest several times and then at the end when she was at my feet the chills travelled throughout my body.
It was nothing like sleep or meditation. It was nothing like a massage. The awareness I had, conversations inside my head and bodily reactions were a totally new and wonderful experience for me. I am still energized like I have not been in quite some time. I’m so awake.
Afterwards I apologized from my growling stomach and she explained that it was part of the release. She said she saw me release in many different ways as she moved down my body. I guess I did! Physically there were tears, throat choke, heat, chills and stomach grumbling. Inside my head an entirely different list as described. I’ll definitely go back whenever I’m feeling stuck again.